A Paladin’s Journey Through Steam: 5/26/2015. Weird Premises and Lots of Side Notes.

There's some weird ass crap on Steam this week...

There’s some weird stuff on Steam this week…

Skipping a day of this series is guaranteed to give you a lot of work next time around.

Missing Friday was a bad idea but unavoidable due to the work demanded of the Witcher 2 review and other things going on last week. So, today I had to go through 60 Steam titles. It’s a challenge to go through so many Steam titles but I managed. Oog though, I’m glad that Valve implemented it’s current curation system for everyone else.

This post is part of a series where I feature the most interesting new releases on Valve’s Steam store. With my first impressions commentary to go along with each. Learn more about this series at this blog post.

Mixed Feature: Carmageddon: Reincarnation

Destruction Racing game for Windows only.

Destruction Racing game for Windows only.

Heard pretty reasonable comments about Carmageddon Reincarnation, the four entry into the Carmageddon series. A series that started back in the 90s. Crazy. Main problems seem to involve really poor performance on many computer systems and other buggy problems. One would hope that they would fix that up in time but it’s generally not the best foot to start on. I do have a copy of the first game on GOG.com and my Android device. I really don’t know what I think of it.

Mixed-Feature: Sunset

FPS....Maid Simulator? for Windows, Mac & Linux

FPS….Maid Simulator? for Windows, Mac & Linux

I’m definitely conflicted on this game. I watched 30 minutes of gameplay and was really bored by it. But the concept is really intriguing and the reviews aren’t awful. So, I sit here and wonder if it’s better to be played than watched. It seems like it is. The concept being that you’re a regular civilian on the sidelines of a civil war. It’s a first person exploration game where you clean an apartment within an hour and make choices that may affect the outcome of the game. It’s rare for games to sit on the sidelines of such an event and it’s why I found games like The War Among Us so interesting as well. Maybe this one will be just as good, I can’t tell. It’s certainly not interesting to watch.

Anti-Feature: Brilliant Bob

Casual 3D platformer for Windows only

Casual 3D platformer for Windows only

Some interesting reviews for this game, to say the least. It’s not even hard to see the mess of styles going on in this one either. And wouldn’t you know it, it looks like unity asset packs were used all over the place. That’s according to the Steam reviews anyway.

Anti-Feature: Ramayana

Unfinished garbageware title for Steam.

Unfinished garbageware title for Steam.

Not only does this developer have the gall to charge $12 for what is clearly an unfinished product. Not only should the Hindu religion probably take offense to this travesty, but, it gets better. These devs stole music from the Harmony of a Hunter project, a fan album celebrating 25 years of Metroid games. The music is not credited to the artist either. How low do you have to go to steal your music from a fan project of smaller artists just to make your crap game a little less crap? Which, for your information, it doesn’t make it better. It actually makes it hilariously worse as the music stolen is designed for a Sci-Fi based series. It sounds completely out of place in a fantasy-based world. Even if we ignore the music stealing, the visuals look about 20 years old, the voice acting is awful and the game is basically unplayable.

According to the developer on the Steam forums, he got the music from New Grounds. Which he must have completely ignored the license agreement right on the page. Said agreement is that the music couldn’t be used for commercial products unless specific permission was granted. Reading is hard apparently for some people. Even if I’m willing to get behind that explanation or the explanation of the license changing. But, here’s a thought: how about you make music for your title? For the game that you are charging $12 for? Because when I pay for games, I expect all content to be made by the developer for the game at hand.

Side Note: Magicka 2

Otherwise known as the Killing Your Friends Simulator 2015 game. I feel like launching this game right after launching your psuedo-MOBA entry of the Magicka series might have been a mistake. I would have spaced it out better so as to not exhaust your fan base on this series. Anyway, most of the reviews on Steam are positive but I haven’t heard any official reviews from my end. I’m probably only going to pick it up if I can get a group going in it. This game really doesn’t work in a single player experience or even a duo-player mode. A lot of the charm just feels lost. It seems to work really well as a party game.

Side Note: The Incredible Adventures of Van Helsing III

Recently launched on Steam, TIAOVHIII (no, that doesn’t work) is getting a lot of mixed reviews. I have recently decided to start this series up so I don’t have anything to add at this time. I’m not even sure if I’m going to like it or not. But I should note that I have heard mixed thoughts outside of the Steam reviews. Mostly stating that it feels like a lazy sequel or expansion rather than a true sequel.

Side Note: Monstrum

Hmm. I seem to recall watching a video about this game. From what I recall, it was a frustrating, low-budget indie title with terrible looking monsters and mediocre puzzles. Let me double check that, pretty sure I know who did the video….*does YouTube search*….ah yes, YouTuber bait. *Does more specific YouTube search*. There it is…yeah, that’s what I thought. The concept is at least interesting, survival horror with rogue-like elements in it. It’s not a terrible idea and the reviews seem good enough. Just not my cup of tea right now.

Anti-Side Note: Zombie Zoeds

This is so painfully generic and in need of some more development time that I hesitate to even give it so much as a mention here. There are far better games for $7. According to reviews the .exe file doesn’t work. Even better though? The game is part of a “DailyIndieGame” Bundles under a different name: Zombie Zoid. The devs renamed it for the Steam release and attempted to get out of giving customers their deserved Steam keys. Shady. As. Hell.

Side Note: CrossFire Dungeons

Best. System Requirements Explanation. Ever. /sarcasm

Best. System Requirements Description. Ever. /sarcasm That’s just lazy. I know that the general perception is that most gamers don’t look at these, but, cmon. I will say that I’m still surprised Windows XP is still being supported long after Microsoft dropped its support. I haven’t looked at the recent numbers on who’s using what though so maybe XP’s usage is still really high.

Side Note: Two Digits

Interesting little minimalist puzzle game about getting two colors to equal each other. Nice idea for teaching math, so long as calculators weren’t allow. Over 200 puzzles worth, though I have to wonder how they managed that without making them extremely repetitive.

Thanks for reading!


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