A Paladin’s Journey Through Steam: March 20, 2015. Rough Week It Would Seem.

Hi There Gratuitous Space Battles 2. How are you doing this fine unreleased day?

Hi There Gratuitous Space Battles 2. How are you doing this fine unreleased day?

Another really slow release week so I’ve got one feature, one anti-feature and one side note.

If your Steam description starts out with: “You are stranded on an island, The plane you came with have crashed, and you are–….” Just…stop right there. Go back and try again. Come up with a different way to describe your game and try again. This is probably the 50th premise I’ve seen this month with this phrase in it. It’s getting old.

This post is part of my new series where I take a look at the most interesting games on the new releases list for Steam. Learn more about this series at this blog post.

Mixed-Feature: Default Dan

Default Dan for.....no platform at all. (Windows only I'm assuming).

Default Dan for…..no platform at all. (Windows only I’m assuming).

I pretty much wrote this game off within the first minute of the trailer. I think I’ve seen this concept done before. Even now I’m not really sure if this is a feature or anti-feature. Graphics are….ok. The concept is intriguing, but I can’t help and notice some rather I wanna be the Guy gameplay spread throughout the game. And some other less enjoyable ideas. But the idea of fighting our conceptions of what we’re used to in platformers is a pretty neat idea on its own. And it doesn’t look bad. I dunno. I’m split on this one.

Anti-Feature: Survivors

Survivors - Early Access Game for Windows only.

Survivors – Early Access Game for Windows only.

I don’t need trailer thoughts for this one because there is no trailer. Just 16 minutes of completely unexplained gameplay. Gameplay that leaves me unable to say anything interesting about it. With a UI that looks more difficult to discern than Dwarf Fortress. I….what is….how is…why is this even in the recent releases on Steam? Steam even says it was released in January 30th, 2015 and I’m just seeing it now? It doesn’t make any sense. The Steam description is fairly meh as well.

This is a real time strategy-survival building game.
Create some land and help your initial villagers to survive during the first period of time. Because if they die before you can settle in houses, you’ll lose.
Make animal pens, for holding and reproducing wild life. Start some farms. Replenish the wood you cut down with a forester tower. Create mines, once you’ve run out of surface resources. Fish with boats. And then, upgrade your houses, animal pens, and boats to make them more efficient.
Have fun, and see how far you can get your village to grow.

I mean, I guess that gives us some sort of goal and idea of what we’re supposed to be looking at. But this trailer is a major tripping point for me. How it explains absolutely nothing about itself for 16mins and yet we’re supposed to know what’s going on is absurd. The game is already getting some unhappy reviews. I’m not that surprised as it doesn’t look good enough to sell. I have no idea how it got onto Steam over a bunch of other games. I should also point out to this developer that Survivors is a terrible game. Do a quick Steam search and see how many games have Survivor(s) in the name. It’s more than a few.

Side Note: Reckless Ruckus

Warning: this program uses Ubisoft’s uPlay DRM. Is also probably not worth playing ever because it looks awful. Please try again and come back later.

Thanks for reading!


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